An Alchemist's Symphony

It's time I lose my mind for the second last time.
Light and dark intuitions emulate lunar cycles.
A glass reflects in the sun, contemplating the irony of the rainbow.
A ceiling of clouds hovers in unison.
Humbling slopes fool the eye with a game of depth charade.
King of the castle, at least for a while longer.
Instincts fade with every crashing wave.
Calloused feet have grown foreign to me.
Time escaped and has disappeared into the night.
Radios re-wired with empathy blare the soundtrack of ancestors passed.
A broken antenna can serve a thousand purposes.
La vie est de toutes les couleurs.
Falling behind ambitious times; the most beautiful alignment of stars.
Waiting until 11:11 for good fortunes to come knock at the door; the minute always cops out. Sutures and smelling salts, tongue depressors and straw stretchers.
How do you feel about the earth lying on its death bed?

La conquête du lac Bell

After a gruelling, and unsuccessful, adventure last Saturday to find this now infamous Bell Lake, we were given a chance to redeem ourselves. And we did. In terms of natural beauty, I think the pictures speak for themselves. There is this feeling of isolation that overwhelmed me when we first arrived. Imagine looking onto a vast lake knowing you're the only human being. For some locals it may not be such a big deal but for a wide-eyed self-proclaimed city boy, it's such a new experience that you can't help but be stunned.

***********

Yesterday was my birthday. It was surprising to receive so many birthday wishes from close and not so close friends via facebook. As much as it can be criticized for being another platform like myspace and turning the world into 3 degrees of separation, facebook does bring people together. If you dig deep past the useless applications, you'll find some with a just social cause that are trying to raise awareness on important issues. And it's very useful to stay in touch with friends when you're away.

Along with new year's and the Super Bowl, a birthday is one of those milestones that calls for an introspective look on the Self in the past year. In my case, I have lived somewhat of a transient lifestyle for the first time in my life; I have travelled and seen more places in these last 365 days than I ever have in the previous 8,395 days. And yet, I don't feel much different. That said, my outlook on the world has definitely changed and is bound to get shaken up once I arrive in Mali. I guess it's more like I'm an upgraded version of myself: Ben 2.0 - now with new and improved features like a greater sense of Self and the knowledge to build an outhouse, drive standard and weed a garden. Coming soon, Ben 2.1 with the horse training/riding feature.

À la recherche du lac Bell

Samedi passé, trois ambitieux aventuriers pris la route pour le lac Bell, une flaque d'eau inconnue parmi les gens du village. Distraits par les hameçons pendants le long de la route, ces aventuriers font de leur mieux pour garder leur cible devant eux.

Ce fût un trajet imbibé de merveilles, malgré que certaines parmi elles ressemblaient plutôt à un cauchemar qui ne semble pas vouloir arrêter: un ménage industriel dans la forêt, de grands arbres dénudés, des milliers de troncs abandonnés, des habitats bulldozés, une empreinte du pied de l'humanité.

Mais les priorités changent vites lorsque les balles volent au-dessus de la panique. Ceci étant dit, le conflit aime suivre la richesse (naturelle autant que monétaire).

Mes pensées sont dispersées, désolé. C'est difficile à les organiser après avoir vu le film Blood Diamond. Je pensais en discuter mais je me suis vite rendu compte que c'est bien trop difficile en ce moment. Le seul commentaire que je dois partager est le suivant: pourquoi dire, à la toute fin du film, que "Sierra Leone is now at peace"? N'est-ce pas ce genre de masque protecteur que critique la journaliste dans le film? Je suis d'accord que le Sierra Leone a pris de grands pas depuis la guerre civile avec des élections très récentes. Par contre, il ne faut pas se créer l'illusion que la paix règne le pays (ni la région). Ce qui m'inquiète c'est surtout l'impression des gens après avoir visionné le film, ne sachant rien de la situation en Afrique de l'Ouest.

En tout cas, je continue cette pensée à une autre fois. Il est temps que je me ferme les yeux et que je rêve à des forêts boisées et des diamants de paix.

Back to you Jim...

Alright, now it's your turn to grab the mic (or keyboard?) and do the talking.
What is your incentive for doing things in an environmentally friendly way (for example, buying organic products or recycling)?
What discourages you from engageing in further actions (for example, composting, if you haven't already)?
How do you think you can most effectively shrink your footprint?
Finally, do you envision yourself using renewable energy - like solar panels or wind generators - in the next 5 years? If so, what source? If not, why not?

If you're not a blogger user, don't worry! Just leave a comment as Anonymous and write your name in the comment text box.

Et voilà.

God Supports Blu-Ray

Personal relationships. They have been a focal point of interest in my experience with One Sky. What drives them? Why do people connect with certain people more than others? Is there a way to change this by altering one's perspective and, consequently, behaviour? Or is it a lost cause overtaken by cowardly habits that are too afraid to die?

I have struggled with certain relationships because of those habits and instincts that wrap around you like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer; they feel so comfortable but you know that sooner or later they will feel cold. Knowing this, do you hold on to that blanket for your dear life while it's still warm and fresh or do you fold it up and sacrifice a tiny bit of discomfort and fold the rest of your laundry?

I am discovering that there is a line between changing perspectives (getting out of that comfort zone) and staying true to that nucleus also known as the Self. Change is a perpetual road, granted. But you need to set yourself some boundaries, no? Does anyone have an interest in changing to the point where they don't even know who it is they're changing anymore?

I am the Great Wall of Sympathy. I sometimes have great difficulty to feel sympathy outside of my perception box. In other words, someone may feel like they are in a miserable situation but if I can't see myself reacting to that very situation in the same way, then by all means let the tiniest orchestra of the tiniest violins play the saddest song in the world. My coping mechanism in such a situation is to disconnect myself and not vest any time or interest in the situation. How does one find the ability to turn this seemingly negative energy into a positive one of opportunity? It feels like I've figured it out on paper (in theory, communism works, in theory...) but perhaps I'm expecting some sort of epiphany that will only blossom on my death. It will be that moment of the deepest introspection experienced in your life where you stand there naked before yourself, in absolute humility and honesty.

In grade 8, my teacher would tell us that when we get to Heaven, God pops into the VCR (I'm sure he's upgraded to DVD or maybe even HD-DVD or Blu-Ray by now... C'mon, it's God) the videocassette of your life and watches it with you. This is the kind of examination I'm talking about where you have no excuses to fall back on when you stand there, being judged by yourself or God or Jeebus or whoever you believe in. We all leave an impression on this planet, whether on an ecological level or through personal relationships. The question remains whether you leave a legacy or a mere toeprint.

Nomadic Relativism

I wrote this a few years ago and turned it into a song with the help of the talented Mr. Paltrinieri. I keep going back to it because there is so much of it I can relate with.

Disconnected.
Infected.
Silence shattering this glass
All Across the earth

Falling trees
Empty woods
Silence of hungry voices
Make you cry for what it’s worth

Apathetic as we are
Empty souls are not looking
For a thing to do about this

Pack your gear it’s time to go
There’s nothing here left that you know
Infertile earth that is beneath
Our bruised and battered calloused feet

Ciao cheers farewell goodbye
Ciao cheers farewell goodbye
Ciao cheers farewell goodbye

If a boy cries in the desert
Village can you hear him
Make a sound

Hear no evil, I don’t speak it
Cold from the chilling woods
They never get out

Do you really wish to be
Warm from the salty earth
That is the trail

Pack your gear it’s time to go
There’s nothing here left that you know
Infertile earth that is beneath
Our bruised and battered calloused feet

Black Earth

There is something to be said about working with your hands, about building. This has certainly been a large part of my experience here as a Smithereen. Having grown up as a city boy, I have never really been exposed to working with my hands; if you need something, you go buy it at the store or you get an expert to do it. Why would I bother to do it myself?

The past two days have been grounding. A month ago I didn't even know the meaning of that word in this context. I still don't know exaclty how to define it but if I had to try, I would say it's coming back to your senses. I have spent the whole day in Tom's giant gardening and that, to me, is grounding. It's backbreaking, my knees feel like they're going to fall off and I'm a red tomato, but I've never been happier.

Recently I watched a Nature of Things documentary about Cuba and its "Accidental Revolution" where, after the fall of the Soviet Union in 1989, Cuba was left stranded. It had to immediately develop sustainable agricultural systems in order to survive. It was the commentary from one of the local farmers that gave farming a new perspective for me. He was talking about the perception of farmers in Cuba, where there is an annual increase as opposed to most Western countries. As he explained, it may be physically demanding but there is a rewarding element to farming and working off the land.

Oh, and one more thing... you get to eat the freshest and healthiest food which should definitely not be overlooked when many kids from all over the world, even in the Western world, are mal-nourished.

Le perpétuel

L'apprentissage dans la vie est perpétuel, il ne faut pas l'oublier.

Nous sommes tous humains, il ne faut pas l'oublier.

Il y a une certaine fragilité chez les humains qui est quand même fascinant. Une personne peut être perçue comme étant puissante, indépendante et forte de caractère lorsqu'en réalité, ce comportement sert de cri pour de l'affection.

Ce fût mon expérience jusqu'à présent avec une des stagiaires et je dois admettre que j'étais très surpris. À One Sky, on stresse beaucoup l'épanouissement et la découverte de soi. Avec ces découvertes vient le sentiment qu'on peut dire n'importe quoi à n'importe qui et n'importe comment, ce qui devient très dangereux bien sûr. Lors d'un atelier de résolution de conflit hier, l'animateur a expliqué ceci avec l'analogie que nous avons tous un film différent; donc, nos cinq sens sont stimulés différemment ainsi que notre perception d'événement. Une situation comme la cancellation d'un vol peut être stressant pour une personne et non pour l'autre.

La perception est humaine, il ne faut pas l'oublier.

Pour terminer, voici quelques exemples de mon exercice de métaphores personels (en anglais):

I am a mountain.
I am a broken record.
I am a dry sponge thrown into the ocean.
I am a rootless tree.
I am Wile E. Coyote.
I am a thousand shades of grey staring at a rainbow.
I am that Trivial Pursuit answer nobody knows.
I am a misplaced rhyme.
I am the applause for a second encore.
I am a solar panel.

If you are confused about the meaning behind them, it's perfectly normal. This is an introspective exercise everyone should at least try once. The only tip I have is to write whatever comes to your mind and not worry about what it means. Once you run out of those thoughts, you tend to dig a bit deeper and really ask yourself some more serious questions.

I am le tired.

Salmon Swimming Upstream

Not too much to report in terms of crazy adventures. The Kispiox Music Festival definitely exceeded my expectations in terms of size and overall ambiance. There are some extremely talented musicians in the Northern Central Lower Mainland; they seem to call this region by so many different names that it gets quite confusing. There are three groups that are worth mentioning because they stood out:

Los Gringos Salvajes
Blue Island Trio
Cousin Harley

Also, there was an artist working on a piece near the main stage who happened to be there at 3 am when I finished my volunteering shift. He was using fingerpaint on a poly tarp (kind of a plastic) and anyone could try it out. It was an enlightening experience, especially with a group of 4 genius guitarists jamming right next to us. The piece was constantly changing but I put some more pictures on Flickr.

In other news, I will be focussing on writing about certain issues surrounding energy equity in the next few posts since I feel like the personal adventures are not as frequent now that I'm actually doing work. That said, I have many ideas floating in my head that I will need to get out. Whether they make their way here is another story.

While speaking to my mom on the phone today, I realized that I am already beginning to lose my French. This is when the idea came to me that I should also write in French to keep my mind from turning uni-lingual. For my English readers, I will try to translate but you may want to do so yourself if I'm too lazy.

To keep the random train of thought going full steam ahead, I thought I should mention that we made the greatest dinner EVER tonight. A generous woman I met last week offered to give all five interns some free salmon that she caught last year. That free salmon swam its way into a dish of linguine alfredo with caramelized onions, mushrooms, red peppers, fresh green onions and tomatoes. It was, in one word, divine (enough for me to want to take a picture). Now we just need a name for the dish so leave your suggestions in the Comments section.

Hope your mouth is watering.

Progress

With a bit of assistance, the header finally fits! This may sound geeky but I'm still proud of it.

We had an afternoon-long workshop today on personal ecology, a kind of new concept that encompasses mind, body and spirit in a similar way as a biosphere has many co-existing species. It mainly allowed us to examine stress as exterior influences but also how it can start from within. It seems that for many people (including myself), stress from within comes from resisting to accept what is happening in the present.

I had a mini-epiphany during the afternoon when I realized that you can never change a stressful situation, you can only change your perception of it. This will in turn transform your response into a more positive one.

We also did an exercise that I enjoyed so much that I think everyone should try to do this on a regular basis. First, find a way to get into a creative head space. Then, think of a metaphor that reflects where you are currently at in terms of mind, body and spirit. It should start with "I am" in order to focus on your Self. For example, I said I was a dry sponge being thrown into the ocean because I feel overwhelmed by the amount of information and knowledge before me and what I should focus on absorbing; and also how quickly.

It's a great exercise to check in on how you are feeling and if there's something to correct, then how to go about doing so. Expect many metaphors to come because I will be using this blog as a platform for them.

Any comments on the header or my "head space", feel free to leave a comment.

Doei doei.