God Supports Blu-Ray

Personal relationships. They have been a focal point of interest in my experience with One Sky. What drives them? Why do people connect with certain people more than others? Is there a way to change this by altering one's perspective and, consequently, behaviour? Or is it a lost cause overtaken by cowardly habits that are too afraid to die?

I have struggled with certain relationships because of those habits and instincts that wrap around you like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer; they feel so comfortable but you know that sooner or later they will feel cold. Knowing this, do you hold on to that blanket for your dear life while it's still warm and fresh or do you fold it up and sacrifice a tiny bit of discomfort and fold the rest of your laundry?

I am discovering that there is a line between changing perspectives (getting out of that comfort zone) and staying true to that nucleus also known as the Self. Change is a perpetual road, granted. But you need to set yourself some boundaries, no? Does anyone have an interest in changing to the point where they don't even know who it is they're changing anymore?

I am the Great Wall of Sympathy. I sometimes have great difficulty to feel sympathy outside of my perception box. In other words, someone may feel like they are in a miserable situation but if I can't see myself reacting to that very situation in the same way, then by all means let the tiniest orchestra of the tiniest violins play the saddest song in the world. My coping mechanism in such a situation is to disconnect myself and not vest any time or interest in the situation. How does one find the ability to turn this seemingly negative energy into a positive one of opportunity? It feels like I've figured it out on paper (in theory, communism works, in theory...) but perhaps I'm expecting some sort of epiphany that will only blossom on my death. It will be that moment of the deepest introspection experienced in your life where you stand there naked before yourself, in absolute humility and honesty.

In grade 8, my teacher would tell us that when we get to Heaven, God pops into the VCR (I'm sure he's upgraded to DVD or maybe even HD-DVD or Blu-Ray by now... C'mon, it's God) the videocassette of your life and watches it with you. This is the kind of examination I'm talking about where you have no excuses to fall back on when you stand there, being judged by yourself or God or Jeebus or whoever you believe in. We all leave an impression on this planet, whether on an ecological level or through personal relationships. The question remains whether you leave a legacy or a mere toeprint.